By Lauren Harrison

Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2023

It can be easy to reside in the all-too familiar and safe place that might be your eating disorder. Chances are, everything that has to do with change, nourishing yourself, and healing will feel like the opposite of healing. It will feel scary, unsafe, and possibly even plain wrong. I want you to know that this is okay. You have built a home for yourself that involves disordered behaviors as your primary coping and protection mechanism, your version of normal.

Your eating disorder is valid. It might have begun as small coping mechanisms that went awry, and that is okay. Here is where it is important to evaluate this current version of your normal versus your goals to thrive as a human. No matter where you are in your journey, whether you are just beginning to consider recovery or currently navigating the ups and downs that is progress, that voice might still be present that tells you all the hard work of eating disorder recovery is meaningless or lame or uncomfortable. This is okay, too. Recovery is hard work, and resistance makes it even harder. Look, you’re clearly considering or pursuing recovery for a reason. There is part of you that knows change is needed, no matter how hard it is.

You might be feeling resistant

This is where I like to consider the options. You could sit in resistance for the entire duration of your recovery journey and hope you get through it. Maybe you will get through it, or maybe you will resist alternate coping skills and feel as if you are going through the motions without truly believing change is possible. Or, you could buy into recovery from your eating disorder and believe change is attainable.

What is buy in?

Buying into something means to be willing to actively participate. In the case of eating disorder recovery, it involves willingness to support recovery and the actions necessary to pursue it. This might sound difficult at this moment in time. It might even seem like, in order to do this, you would need to completely fake willingness to recover. And that is okay, too.

Fake it ‘til you make it

There is nothing wrong with faking it ‘til you make it. In fact, this is one of my favorite mottos with my clients in recovery. Renourishing and learning new coping techniques might feel like a foreign concept to you and your eating disorder. However, just because it feels foreign does not mean it’s wrong.

Buying in is what allows us to more readily engage in things like eating adequately and consistently, reframing negative thoughts, and challenging our disordered voice, which is needed in order to train our minds and bodies back to their healthy and nourished state. This can be really hard if we don’t believe the things we are doing are beneficial. The concept of buy in and faking it til you make it allows us to take some pressure off of ourselves and experiment with trying those scary things anyways. The more we repeat this process, the less we will be faking it and the more true these recovery-focused behaviors will become.

How do I buy into recovery?

Begin by assessing your options. Make a pros and cons list of making the change versus staying the same. Remind yourself of the true facts rather than the eating disorder’s narrative. Refeeding your body what it needs will physically improve your brain’s ability to function and buy into recovery as well. Having a care team to assist you through this work will offer even more support as you strive towards believing–and realizing–that recovery is possible. What might be most important in this process is acceptance that change is inevitable. So would you rather be willing to navigate the change or resistant on the journey?